I’ll never be the same again.
What is your purpose here? #purpose I know what it is supposed to be but the lack of fulfillment indicates it must be something else.
Protection. That’s what you were supposed to provide and that was supposed to be your purpose! At least, SOMETIMES. I never DREAMED you would be the “bad guy” in my life. #youknewitfromdayone You are a monster! I screamed these words to the emptiness I felt inside of me and the openess that was around me that day.
Deception, pain, anger. That’s what you did provide and perhaps, that was your sick twisted purpose. I got quiet because the intensity of the betrayal I felt was new. I had never felt an emotion as blistering as I felt that of betrayal in that moment. Completely overwhelmed. Numb.
I wonder what it’s like within the lonley, angry, vingeful thought process you must have or do I? Do I want to know what it’s like? Terrifying. I’m positive it is terrifying. It must be close to insanity or perhaps it’s further gone than that. If there was a split second that you considered this a good idea then there is something much larger occurring inside of you than I have ever been aware. You are a stranger.
You created me. I am YOUR flesh and blood. I am the closest thing to you that there currently is or that there will ever be. You say, “I love you more than life.” You also say, “You are the reason I want to be alive.” Here’s my favorite thing you say, “I love my grandkids more than my own child and I never thought that was possible.” All of those statements are untrue. Of course you would say, “You’re wrong.” Actions speak so much louder than words and recently, you’ve acted well enough to convince me that there is absolutely no “love” inside of you. Why do you hate me?
Typically, your actions or kind acts are part of a preconceived plan you’ve created that leads to you gaining something in the end. #narcissist There are never moments in your life that you can geninunely be kind or giving to someone withouth expecting recognition or something given back to you. You are selfish and you honestly believe that you’re kind. You are cold and you honestly believe that you present with warmth. You are empty.
You will not take one more moment from me because I am not going to let you.
The game changed in that moment and I realized I was going to make sure you knew what I had to bring to the table. With no thanks to you. #gamechanger
This day was a day in my life that I will never forget due to the intensity of that ONE emotion and I will never be the same again. #myheartfeltlikeitliterallybrokethatday